Fiction

More Than I Love My Life

More Than I Love My Life

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  • Create Date：2021-10-08 09:50:57
  • Update Date：2025-09-06
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  • Author：David Grossman
  • ISBN：1787332934
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Summary

From the internationally best-selling author--and revered moral voice--a remarkable novel of suffering， love， and healing， the story of three generations of women and a secret that needs to be told。

More Than I Love My Life is the story of three strong women: Vera， age ninety; her daughter， Nina; and her granddaughter， Gili， who at thirty-nine is a filmmaker and a wary consumer of affection。 A bitter secret divides each mother-and-daughter pair， though Gili--abandoned by Nina when she was just three--has always been close to her grandmother。 With Gili making the arrangements， they travel together to Goli Otok， a barren island off the coast of Croatia， where Vera was imprisoned and tortured for three years as a young wife after she refused to betray her husband and denounce him as an enemy of the people。 This unlikely journey--filtered through the lens of Gili's camera， as she seeks to make a film that might help explain her life--lays bare the intertwining of fear， love， and mercy， and the complex overlapping demands of romantic and parental passion。

More Than I Love My Life was inspired by the true story of one of David Grossman's longtime confidantes， a woman who， in the early 1950s， was held on the notorious Goli Otok （the Adriatic Alcatraz）。 With flashbacks to the stalwart Vera protecting what was most precious on the wretched rock where she was held， and Grossman's fearless examination of the human heart， this swift novel will thrill his many readers and bring new ones into the fold。

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Reviews

Deborah ，

Love love love this book， painful as it is to read。 Gorgeous prose， heartbreaking story， memorable characters。 Best book I’ve read in a while。

Alessia ，

"Tutta la famiglia si è stretta intorno alla nonna， come un corpo che protegge il proprio organo più vulnerabile。" "Tutta la famiglia si è stretta intorno alla nonna， come un corpo che protegge il proprio organo più vulnerabile。" 。。。more

Yonit ，

4。5 stars。 This is my third Grossman novel and he is certainly an expert on damaged characters。 I've come across a few novels lately dealing with Tito's Yugoslavia and the history in this book is fascinating。 4。5 stars。 This is my third Grossman novel and he is certainly an expert on damaged characters。 I've come across a few novels lately dealing with Tito's Yugoslavia and the history in this book is fascinating。 。。。more

Robyn Newstadt ，

4 1/2 stars。 Excellent audiobook！

Karen ，

Agonizing yet made bearable because it is based on life of author’s friend

Shelley Sherman ，

I struggled with this book in the beginning。 I wasn't engaging with the story or the characters。 The narration kept changing as did the focus and time period and the reader had to be patient to follow the relationships which were revealed a little at a time。 If I were not a reader who had been awed by this author I might have abandoned the book although that is not something easy for me。 At some point it grabbed me and then I found it difficult to put down。 Very intense at parts， very tragic and I struggled with this book in the beginning。 I wasn't engaging with the story or the characters。 The narration kept changing as did the focus and time period and the reader had to be patient to follow the relationships which were revealed a little at a time。 If I were not a reader who had been awed by this author I might have abandoned the book although that is not something easy for me。 At some point it grabbed me and then I found it difficult to put down。 Very intense at parts， very tragic and sad and of course it was inspired by a real woman whom the author knew well。 I did not know about Tito's gulags and it illustrated that cruelty can be present everywhere。 I would be on the side of those who question the actions of the mother but unfair to judge 。 。。。more

Rita Bookreader ，

A very interesting and complex multi-generational spin on inter-generational trauma， abandonment and love within a family。 I found it a bit too chaotic in the telling， and quite painful personally。

Richard ，

As has been the case with some of the other novels by Grossman which I have read he exhibits great insight into and develops his characters skillfully。 With attention to detail he explores and develops how and why Nina and Gili struggle with such profound fears of intimacy because of the abandonment each experienced as a child。 Their efforts to share the truth of their lives with each other while striving to achieve reconciliation is depicted with an empathy that makes those aspects of the story As has been the case with some of the other novels by Grossman which I have read he exhibits great insight into and develops his characters skillfully。 With attention to detail he explores and develops how and why Nina and Gili struggle with such profound fears of intimacy because of the abandonment each experienced as a child。 Their efforts to share the truth of their lives with each other while striving to achieve reconciliation is depicted with an empathy that makes those aspects of the story grippingly poignant。 The timely use of humor eases what could otherwise have become a very morose tale。 In fact， if anything there are times when the detail makes More Than slow going。 Without giving anything away let me just note that the reason for Nina’s reunion at this particular time in the lives of Vera， Gili， and her husband/Gili’s father Rafael seemed contrived and on the melodramatic side to me。 There are two other modest flaws with this novel。 First， Grossman switching from a first to a third person narrative makes it jarring sometimes。 Second， as Vera’s flashbacks to her experiences in the gulag lack focus this aspect of the story is less impactful than it could have been。 I have found this tendency to allow the plot to wander in some of the author’s other novels。 Perhaps he is afforded greater license because he is a best selling writer。 IMHO， it detracts from rather than adds to the quality of his books。 For those interested this is a newspaper article about the woman on whose life Grossman based More Than。 https://www。haaretz。com/1。5495098 。。。more

Shubhaangi ，

Based on a true story。 The novel is a profoundly moving account of wounded people living the consequences of a brutal legacy。 The narrative teasingly moves back and forth。 The book is a brilliant example of how personal is political。

leilanis_books 。 ，

Es gibt Geschichten die erzählt werden sollten， damit sie nicht in Vergessenheit geraten。Was genau geschah damals， als Vera von der jugoslawischen Geheimpolizei unter Tito verhaftet wurde？Davon erzählt uns dieses Buch。"Was Nina wusste" beruht auf einer realen Geschichte。 Das Schicksal der jüdischen Kommunistin Eva Panic-Nahir，die als jüdische Partisanin zusammen mit ihrem serbischen Mann gegen die Nazis gekämpft hat。 Als das Tito-Regimesie später als Stalinisten verfolgte， beging ihr Mann im Gef Es gibt Geschichten die erzählt werden sollten， damit sie nicht in Vergessenheit geraten。Was genau geschah damals， als Vera von der jugoslawischen Geheimpolizei unter Tito verhaftet wurde？Davon erzählt uns dieses Buch。"Was Nina wusste" beruht auf einer realen Geschichte。 Das Schicksal der jüdischen Kommunistin Eva Panic-Nahir，die als jüdische Partisanin zusammen mit ihrem serbischen Mann gegen die Nazis gekämpft hat。 Als das Tito-Regimesie später als Stalinisten verfolgte， beging ihr Mann im Gefängnis Selbstmord， sie selbst wurde zur Umerziehung aufdie berüchtigte Insel Goli Otok gebracht。"David Grossman ist ein Meister darin， mit erbarmungslosem Feingefühl zu beschreiben， wie sehr Menschen darumringen， sich Wahrheiten nicht zu stellen。 。。。 Er weicht weder der Härte， noch der Düsternis aus， doch sein zutiefst menschlicher Ton，die Eleganz seiner Sprache machen 'Was Nina wusste' auch zu einem Werk umwerfender Schönheit。" Claudia Voigt， Der SpiegelDrei Frauen – Vera， ihre Tochter Nina und ihre Enkelin Gili – kämpfen mit einem alten Familiengeheimnis。 An Veras 90。 Geburtstagbeschließt Gili， einen Film über ihre Großmutter zu drehen und mit ihr und Nina nach Kroatien， auf die frühere GefängnisinselGoli Otok zu reisen。 Mit dabei ist auch Rafael， Veras Stiefsohn und der Mann der Nina liebt， und der auch Gilis Vater ist。Die Spuren der Vergangenheit verdichten sich immer mehr， als die vier in die ehemalige Heimat von Vera und Nina nach Jugoslawien，jetzt Kroatien， reisen。 Hier musste Vera fast 3 Jahre lang in einem jugoslawischen Straf- und Umerziehungslager Titos verbringen。Gili filmt und führt auch gleichzeitig Protokoll ein Umstand der später von großer Wichtigkeit sein wird。Ein Buch der großen Emotionen， ein Buch der unterschiedlichen Verflechtungen unserer Protagonisten， ein Buch das betroffen macht。Es geht um die Frage der Schuld und der Vergebung。 Für uns heute， würde vielleicht ein Urteil leicht fallen，doch so einfach macht es uns Grossman nicht。 Auf jeden Fall ein Buch das noch lange im Gedächtnis bleiben wird。 Und von mir eine große Leseempfehlung darstellt。>>。。。Wann ein Mensch wirklich anfängt， erwachsen zu werden？ Wenn er bereit ist zu akzeptieren， dass auch seine Eltern das Recht auf ein eigenes Seelenleben haben。<

Caren ，

The brilliance of Israeli author David Grossman is again revealed in this intriguingly complex novel。 The author weaves in and out of time and the personal narratives of three women of an Israeli kibbutz family: Vera， the 90-year-old matriarch; her estranged daughter， Nina; and Gili， the daughter Nina had abandoned。 So palpable is the inherited trauma of the women in this intergenerational story-within-a-story that the reader quickly realises the moral complexity and anguish in each mother-daugh The brilliance of Israeli author David Grossman is again revealed in this intriguingly complex novel。 The author weaves in and out of time and the personal narratives of three women of an Israeli kibbutz family: Vera， the 90-year-old matriarch; her estranged daughter， Nina; and Gili， the daughter Nina had abandoned。 So palpable is the inherited trauma of the women in this intergenerational story-within-a-story that the reader quickly realises the moral complexity and anguish in each mother-daughter relationship。 Further， Vera’s stepson， Rafi， has loved Nina since they were teenagers and， as the father of Gili， has grieved for his lover in her decades of absence and has tried to assuage Gili’s pain in having been abandoned when she was a baby。 As the women gather together on the occasion of Vera’s birthday， a decision is made that will be life-changing。 The four will travel together to a remote island in Yugoslavia， where Vera was held for over two years as a young political prisoner under Tito’s Communist rule after the death of her first husband。 Rafi will film the journey， with Gili taking notes of significant conversations and observations。 It is hoped that each person will reflect on the past events that influenced the decisions of the mothers to be separated from their daughters at crucial times in both Nina’s and Gili’s lives。 It is hoped that some kind of understanding can be reached between them。I stress that this novel is in no way a melodrama。 Rather， it intelligently explores the nature of the mother-daughter relationship and the choices made regarding the duty to remain true to oneself and/or to one’s child。 Grossman refrains from judging the mothers’ decisions as Vera and Nina finally deal with the secrets held from their families and caught on film。 The reader feels privileged to be included in this journey and to explore the vulnerabilities and strengths of each of the family members。 Above all， the novel is an exploration of the power of love。 。。。more

Sylvia。 Blau ，

If I could give this more stars， it would be a 10。 It was a terrific book， well written， good character， and an engaging story。This is a must read

Mich ，

This is a masterfully written， heart wrenching story of a three generation family torn apart by one woman's refusal to betray the memory of her husband and as a result had to give up raising her three year old daughter。 During Tito's regime in the 1950's Vera was sent to a concentration camp in Croatia for three years where she underwent horrendous conditions。 The story takes place in Israel where her daughter Nina grew up and where she met Raphael who fell madly in love with her。 Nina however w This is a masterfully written， heart wrenching story of a three generation family torn apart by one woman's refusal to betray the memory of her husband and as a result had to give up raising her three year old daughter。 During Tito's regime in the 1950's Vera was sent to a concentration camp in Croatia for three years where she underwent horrendous conditions。 The story takes place in Israel where her daughter Nina grew up and where she met Raphael who fell madly in love with her。 Nina however was traumatized by her upbringing and left the marriage after her daughter Gili was born， leaving Raphi and Vera to raise her。 Vera wants to revisit the island where she was tortured and she convinced Nina to join her along with Raphi and Gili。 The father and daughter have been filming all their lives and Vera's story is told though the lens of Gili's camera。 Grossman's ability to construct this story and lay bare the emotions of all the characters shines through brilliantly。 。。。more

Tsung ，

This is a story of three generations of women， begining with the diminutive yet indomitable Vera。 Based on a real figure Eva Panić Nahir， a jewish woman from old Yugoslavia， it is a story of love， separation， suffering and reconciliation。 It explores the relationships between three women， Vera， trainwreck daughter Nina and aggrieved granddaughter Gili。Overall， its a fair but not particularly inspiring read。 The writing was not even throughout and did not resonate。 The horror of Vera's time in Go This is a story of three generations of women， begining with the diminutive yet indomitable Vera。 Based on a real figure Eva Panić Nahir， a jewish woman from old Yugoslavia， it is a story of love， separation， suffering and reconciliation。 It explores the relationships between three women， Vera， trainwreck daughter Nina and aggrieved granddaughter Gili。Overall， its a fair but not particularly inspiring read。 The writing was not even throughout and did not resonate。 The horror of Vera's time in Goli Otok was a bit lost in the surreal elements。 What was nicely done was the amazing relationship between Vera and her Serbian husband Milosz。 。。。more

Angela M ，

4。5 stars rounded up。Three generations divided by the trauma of being abandoned， travel together to the gulag of the elder one’s past。 A gut wrenching journey， reliving the past， facing the truth ， that may take them to a place in their hearts where forgiveness and redemption can be found 。 That it is based on the life of a friend of David Grossman makes it all the more meaningful。 Half a star off for being a little slow at first ， but worth the pace 。I received a copy of this book from Knopf/Ra 4。5 stars rounded up。Three generations divided by the trauma of being abandoned， travel together to the gulag of the elder one’s past。 A gut wrenching journey， reliving the past， facing the truth ， that may take them to a place in their hearts where forgiveness and redemption can be found 。 That it is based on the life of a friend of David Grossman makes it all the more meaningful。 Half a star off for being a little slow at first ， but worth the pace 。I received a copy of this book from Knopf/Random House through Edelweiss。 。。。more

David Curry ，

In Israeli author David Grossman’s new novel， MORE THAN I LOVE MY LIFE， an old woman is remembered as once having said: “God has a big imagination for troubles。”This book is the right place for such a hard， seasoned perception to find a home。 Readers of Grossman’s earlier novels know him to be one of the most serious writers currently among us， and this latest contribution can only seal that reputation。 His characters， tossed and damaged by familial and world history， alternately seek and evade In Israeli author David Grossman’s new novel， MORE THAN I LOVE MY LIFE， an old woman is remembered as once having said: “God has a big imagination for troubles。”This book is the right place for such a hard， seasoned perception to find a home。 Readers of Grossman’s earlier novels know him to be one of the most serious writers currently among us， and this latest contribution can only seal that reputation。 His characters， tossed and damaged by familial and world history， alternately seek and evade each other as they move through guilt， deception and recrimination and work their way toward iffy resolution and elusive redemption。MORE THAN I LOVE MY LIFE invites comparison with the late William Styron’s SOPHIE’S ChOICE in its unflinching assessment of the dark consequences of decisions and actions。 I am not qualified to judge Jessica Cohen’s translation from Grossman’s Hebrew， but I can say that as a text in English it reads eminently well。 Nowhere did I detect the mark of Translatorese。 。。。more

Mimi ，

Another great book from David Grossman

Carol Riley ，

Very difficult subject matter， but a well-written translation。 I don't think I could recommend this to anyone without really knowing their reading tastes。 Very difficult subject matter， but a well-written translation。 I don't think I could recommend this to anyone without really knowing their reading tastes。 。。。more

Michael Rieman ，

A quartet of family members， three women and a man， forms the center of this narrative which spans three generations and feels both intimate emotionally and far reaching historically。 At the core is 90 year old Vera， an immigrant to Israel from Yugoslavia in the early 1960's， her daughter Nina， a troubled and alienated woman; Gili， Nina's daughter who felt abandoned by Nina （for good reason） and Rafi， the man who married Nina and whose father， a widower， married Vera。 That does sound complicate A quartet of family members， three women and a man， forms the center of this narrative which spans three generations and feels both intimate emotionally and far reaching historically。 At the core is 90 year old Vera， an immigrant to Israel from Yugoslavia in the early 1960's， her daughter Nina， a troubled and alienated woman; Gili， Nina's daughter who felt abandoned by Nina （for good reason） and Rafi， the man who married Nina and whose father， a widower， married Vera。 That does sound complicated， but the facts are far easier to sort out than the emotional tensions among the characters。 Grossman touches on themes of love， abandonment， feelings of betrayal， and their consequences in a family story that has parallels in the East Europe of Vera's young adulthood。Grossman took the basic element of the story， Vera's marriage to a Serbian officer with whom she shared an unwavering love， and her imprisonment on a desolate island at the hands of Tito's regime， from the real life of an older woman he met in Israel who did want him to write her story。 However， he felt free to change it so that the story is seen largely through the eyes of Vera's granddaughter， Gili， who is both a writer and something of a documentary filmmaker。 A decision to film a trip to Croatia， to Vera's original home and then to the island on which she was imprisoned and tortured， provides the opportunity for the past to be exposed in all its pain。 That pain is well rendered in the dialogue among the characters， and in the harrowing descriptions of Vera's time on the island。 However， I found the frequent references to filming and writing down what was both said and "not said" to be intrusive and often irritating。 Yes， the characters have their own reasons for wanting that form of a "record，" but by the time I understood that it almost did not matter。 The real strength of the work is the way it challenges our beliefs in the ways love and loyalty matter to us， and the ways our actions， no matter how ideally motivated， may have unintended consequences for those we believe we love。 Vera's love for her husband， a victim of Tito's prisons， supports her throughout interrogations and brutal treatment， but also feels like betrayal to her young daughter， and continues to have consequences for her granddaughter。 The novel is emotionally unsparing。 However， I found some aspects of writing and characterization to feel heavy-handed。 For instance， Rafi's continued attraction to Nina， regardless of her cruelty toward him--even her disappearances--seemed hard to believe， in spite of his describing himself as a man who "loves a person who is hard to love。"I don't think the author gave him enough reason to act that way。In the end， though， the book touches on the possibilities of love and reconciliation in a world in which those qualities are harder to find than we would wish。 。。。more

Gizela Cardoso ，

Um sublime tratado sobre abandono e redenção。 Fez-me sentir arrebatada， esta viagem entre três mulheres。

Barbara ，

I highly recommend the audio of “More Than I Love My Life” by David Grossman， translated by Jessica Cohen and performed by Gilli Messer。 Messer narrates the voices with aplomb and skill。 Her eastern European accented English lends the audio authenticity to this rich and involved story。 If I allowed a criticism， it would be that it was overly ambitious…。。there is a lot going on。 So much， that after finishing the audio， I needed to go back to the beginning to remember how this all started。 There a I highly recommend the audio of “More Than I Love My Life” by David Grossman， translated by Jessica Cohen and performed by Gilli Messer。 Messer narrates the voices with aplomb and skill。 Her eastern European accented English lends the audio authenticity to this rich and involved story。 If I allowed a criticism， it would be that it was overly ambitious…。。there is a lot going on。 So much， that after finishing the audio， I needed to go back to the beginning to remember how this all started。 There are an abundant of tangents that throw the story at times。This is a story of three generations of women who suffered loss which resulted in abandonment。 It’s a story of women attempting to find forgiveness and understanding of each other。 The story begins with a birthday party for 90-year-old Vera。 Gili， Vera’s granddaughter， is now a documentary filmmaker， decides to document Vera’s life。 Vera was sent to Goli Otok， the Adriatic prison island， after refusing to renounce her dead husband as being a Stalinist。 Her daughter Nina， Gili’s mother， felt abandoned by both parents because at age 6， she was sent to live with her hateful aunt。 What Vera endured is unfathomable。Vera is released after 3 years and moves to a kibbutz in Israel with Nina。 Nina never rebounds from her feelings of abandonment and her story is almost as tragic as Vera’s。 Nina marries， has Gili， and abandons Gili。 Luckily for Gili， Vera raises her along with Gili’s father。The three women， plus Gili’s father， also a filmmaker， venture to record Vera’s story。 Nina adds her tragic parts， and Gili struggles to understand motive and revelations。 Generations of suffering， grief， loss， and trauma snowball into a heartbreaking story。Adding impact is that this story is loosely based on a Yugoslavian partisan fighter。Even with all the tangents， which were close to being a distraction， this is a fantastic audio。 。。。more

Joan ，

David Grossman is a favorite author and was eager to read it。 I attended a captivating interview with him， on this book， at the （NYC） Streiker Center。 Unfortunately I could not connect and lost interest in this novel。

Rachel ，

I received an advanced review copy from Edelweiss and tried to read Israeli literary giant David Grossman's newest novel on my Kindle。 I was unsuccessful。 So， I tried the audiobook and had a much easier time getting into the story。 As the Guardian review describes it， the narrative structure "is teasingly digressive， threading back and forward between different time periods， between first- and third-person voices" which is why I think I had such a hard time reading it。 But the audiobook narrator I received an advanced review copy from Edelweiss and tried to read Israeli literary giant David Grossman's newest novel on my Kindle。 I was unsuccessful。 So， I tried the audiobook and had a much easier time getting into the story。 As the Guardian review describes it， the narrative structure "is teasingly digressive， threading back and forward between different time periods， between first- and third-person voices" which is why I think I had such a hard time reading it。 But the audiobook narrator does an excellent job distinguishing between the characters and the time period so it was much easier to follow。 However， I found the character of Nina so bizarre and unlikeable and couldn't figure out why Rafael was so infatuated with her。 His unwavering devotion to her over 50+ years was totally pathetic。 I like the Guardian's description of it as "a Russian doll of a novel， a book of secrets wrapped within secrets" and I was compelled to finish the book because I wanted to know what the big secret was。 The reveal was a bit anti-climatic and I don't think I understand what happened in the end。 And I agree with the Kirkus review that it is "occasionally moving but more often overwrought。" I listened to David Grossman speak on a webinar at the Temple Emanu-El Streicker Center in NYC this morning and he was interesting and engaging。 But， I've tried to read and understand his novels several times and have never enjoyed them。 I think I just need to finally give up。 。。。more

Vesna ，

Nemam reči koliko je banalizovana （ovo je eufemizam） životna priča jedne hrabre， izuzetne žene。 Koga god zanima tema ovog romana， preporučujem mu da pogleda dokumentarni film Eva， ili dok。 seriju Goli život koji je o Evi Panić Nahir radio Danilo Kiš。Jer čitanje ovoga je gubljenje vremena i nerava。

Marcie Tennen ，

This book is beautiful and sad。The story of an Israeli family - 3 generations of women - focusing on their life events past and present。Themes of abandonment， suffering ， loneliness， and grief are abundant。A deeply moving book。

Elyse Walters ，

“Gili， in you I want to put everything I had in life。 Everything”。 “I don’t understand， Grandma”……。Gili ‘will’ come to understand- and so will we—the readers。 “The heart pangs”…… stumbling on “an invisible barbed wire”……SOOOOO GOOD！！！David Grossman continues to be one of my all-time favorite authors。“More Than I Love My Life”…。is an intimate-extended-family-journey-filled with awe -power-and humanity。 inspired by a true story！

Margreeth Wallast ，

Mooi geschreven en beschreven verhaal over hoe keuzes die wij maken gevolgen hebben voor de volgende generaties。

Davida Chazan ，

4。75/5 stars。 I'm embarrassed to say that this is the first book by David Grossman I've ever read， but at least this isn't the first translation by Jessica Cohen I've read （see my review of "All the Rivers" by Dorit Rabinyan - OMG）。 This story is fascinating and the writing/translation is just wonderful。 Read more in my review here https://tcl-bookreviews。com/2021/08/2。。。 4。75/5 stars。 I'm embarrassed to say that this is the first book by David Grossman I've ever read， but at least this isn't the first translation by Jessica Cohen I've read （see my review of "All the Rivers" by Dorit Rabinyan - OMG）。 This story is fascinating and the writing/translation is just wonderful。 Read more in my review here https://tcl-bookreviews。com/2021/08/2。。。 。。。more

Aldo Lingua ，

Este es uno de esos libros que “te van a gustar” porque el autor es famoso y premiado y bla bla bla… bueno， no me gustó。 Es lento y confuso por el gusto de ser lento y confuso y la trama nunca terminó de gustarme。 La idea de una historia generacional contada por una sola voz suena atractiva， pero me resultó lenta y molesta。

Pamela Escobar ，

Tantas atrocidades que han ocurrido en este mundo por nuestras propias manos y aun así siempre estamos al límite de volver a cometerlas… somos una especie mala。

Reference

google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=More Than I Love My Life

hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=More Than I Love My Life&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft

The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,More Than I Love My Life&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0